Italian Chicks Are Better at Post Election Promises

While outspoken harpies in the United States made pointed promises of fleeing to international chalets in the event of a Trump victory, precisely zero have lived up to their pre-election look-at-me rhetoric. You can admire bold people of all political persuasions. It’s difficult to muster respect for blowhard hustlers.

It’s refreshing to hear the story of Paola Saulino. An Italian actress whose acting primarily consists of getting naked and performing public stunts. I can think of people who contribute less to this world. Saulino promised to give blow jobs to everybody who voted No on some recent national referendum in Italy.

I will practice oral sex with due and careful craftsmanship, thus fulfilling my duty, without losing even a drop of your essence, strictly looking at you in the eye. All this to those who will vote no in the referendum.

The referendum was voted down and Saulino announced a multi-city tour stop in Italy to give hummers to No voters, as per her word. In your face, with semen, Madonna. You’re no Italian.

A bunch of people online are calling bullshit on Saulino’s fellatio but others who say they attended the Rome event seem quite happy with their five minutes in the tent. Saulino claims via Instagram that she performed fifty-one hummers and she’s exhausted. She’s also selling t-shirts. I’d ask for the ones sealed in plastic.

Surely, the aura of disease and grossness pervades this story. As does integrity and putting up or shutting up. The entire world of Hollywood self-righteous have been schooled by one Italian hooker whose word is her bond. Go on, Meryl, call her a whore. We know precisely who we’re inviting over to watch the game.