Robin Williams Turned Down From Harry Potter

According to the Huffington Post, Robin Williams was turned down for a role as a groundskeeper in the Harry Potter franchise because American director Chris Columbus wanted to only hire British people. If only Chinese people should be allowed to play Chinese roles, then why are half the people starring in American films Brits doing crappy overdone theater style American accents? Why are Tom Hardy, Christian Bale, Daniel Day Lewis, Hugh Laurie, Tilda Swinton, Kate Winslet, and Ewan McGregor constantly playing characters from Alabama yet Billy Bob Thornton doesn’t get to play a chimney sweeping bloke from Coventry? 

As a matter of fact, why are British people taking all of our news anchor positions? CNN made Piers Morgan the face of their network. We couldn’t find a domestic idiot hack? Nothing against Trevor Noah or John Oliver, but isn’t it weird that a South African dude and a Brit have jobs reporting on American politics? Do you often see Larry the Cable Guy on the BBC? 

How come every time they make a movie about ancient Rome or Nazi Germany or even a place that doesn’t exist like Narnia or the Game of Thrones neighborhood, the characters are always British. Romans didn’t speak English, yet all is good if they have pretentious accents. Why would it be any less weird if Jon Snow sounded like Jeff Foxworthy? 

Robin Williams was a talented actor, and the odds he could pull off a convincing British accent are nearly a hundred. Somehow this feels like discrimination. Also, you slip out of it every time you yell, Ewan. Let’s get social justice Twitter on this, the Colonial period is over. Britain’s chief export is bad Southern accents. Also, killing Robin Williams.

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