Shkreli Booted from Twitter

IBM’s Watson doesn’t have the computing power to distinguish the cocksureness levels of Little Pharma giant Martin Shkreli from any 20-something female blogger for a midtown Manhattan media outlet. Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey figured it out. Dorsey steps into Twitter beefs when properly politically aligned women charge douchebags like Shkreli with harassment. Everybody needs a hobby. Stopping ISIS from using Twitter as a primary recruiting tool can be somebody else’s. 

Lauren Duca who freelance blogs for Teen Vogue and HuffPo got herself SEO for being one of the glamorous Soul Cycle spinners who speaks truth to power with Lena Dunham inspired anti-Trump snark. On Twitter, Shkreli offered to take Duca to the Trump inauguration as his plus one. Duca responded that she’d rather eat her own organs. Touché! Shkreli cut and paste his face onto a photo of some other dude in a cozy photo with Duca and uploaded it as his Twitter profile picture. At which point Duca went to Dorsey who suspended Shkreli’s account for harassment. Score one for women not being dainty flowers. Seriously? The guy weighs in at 140 and has a lazy eye.

The modern digital age bears out what we have always secretly known but never had the definitive proof. Most people are bored a-holes. Journalists used to take pride in their journalism and evil corporate CEOs used to strive to build vast mountaintop lasers without a narcissistic need for face time. If you ever find yourself in a Twitter battle, you’re spitting on the dreams of whoever fed and clothed you for the first eighteen years of your life. Or if you’re a HuffPo blogger, until you’re thirty-three. 

_{Photo credit: Twitter}