There's no book on how to maintain your beard that isn't chiefly about facial hair grooming. You'd think by now one of the more successful female entertainers would've put together a How-To guide to running your male companion show pony. Tons of advice on Russian political scandals. Nothing on how to make your fake boyfriend look mannish. Nobody writes practical anymore.
Mariah Carey took Bryan Tanaka out for St. Patrick's Day in a whirling dervish of emerald gay. I'm looking at you fitted short sleeve short and decorative scarf. When John Wayne wore it, it was a bandana. Don't add flair.
Mariah takes nine hours to get into that dress. There's time to remove all visible diamond studs and marriage equality rights bracelets. The lady's paying you to pretend plowing older women in girdles is deep down your thing. Casting options had to be super limited. This is how Affleck got Batman.
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet