Raccoon Steals Bra

Lest you buy into the partisan politics that Russia is a well groomed Bond villain capable of manipulating mass media and global sentiment — nope. Still drunks and shoddy porn producing fiends who can’t find their pants in the morning.

A petting zoo in Moscow is suing a local ad agency for renting one of its raccoons and surreptitiously using “Thomas” in a topless commercial for something super Russian. So maybe woolen lingerie.

The petting zoo claims they were never forewarned of the erotic nature of the shoot before handing over a raccoon they’d previously grabbed out of a trash can and beat until it stopped biting at least most of the kids who visited. Thomas returned to the petting zoo with an undue fixation on women’s breasts. 

“It took two to three months to change his behaviour. Now he is happy again… but he was sad before.”

Imagine the mail order Russian raccoon bride they set him up with toe chide him out of his lusty endeavors. This woodland mammal has known but a minute of pleasure in his life and now been told it was his greatest mistake. We’ve all been there. Keep your chin up, bandit. 

_{Photo Credit: Art Msk Creative Union}