Ask Tyler: Slut Shaming

Tyler: I read all these “Ask Tyler” and they always end with the guy sleeping with the girl. Well I will tell you as a female, when that actually does happen then the female gets totally slut shamed for it. Because of that it’s not quite going to be as easy as you say/think on here. Grow up, asshole.

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That’s not exactly a question. Because I feel bad about how I forgot my girlfriend’s cat’s birthday once, I decided to respond. Sit down on your Ikea Ektorp for this. GUYS: NEVER EVER EVER SLUT SHAME. Guys love sluts. Sluts are their team wins a Super Bowl plus half price beers plus Trump fucks Hillary in the face all mixed into one. Someday I will marry a slut. Talk to any married guy. He will say stuff like, she is my best friend, we are partners, sex becomes less and less important when you become a parent, and other shit that makes you want to push the eject button on life. I don’t want that shit. I want a woman who was called a slut and fucked the starting lineup of her college basketball team to prove otherwise. Her pussy was so horny all the time she needed it. She craved it. Like a crack addict to the pipe. That pipe is my wang. Will she fuck the gardener someday? I don’t know. Do I get a discount on my lawn? People take commitment way too seriously. Stay slutty girl. You’re going to have lots of boyfriends. One of them will have a job and no prison record. That’s the odds.

-Tyler 

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