Carrie Fisher Dead But Not Star Wars Gone

Disney has received permission from Carrie Fisher’s surviving family members to use cut-up footage of her for use in Star Wars IX. Not to be confused with Star Wars XIII which had already completed principal photography prior to Fisher’s passing. 

Fisher’s brother summed up his decision to let his dead sister be forever reincarnated for Disney shareholders:

“She’s as much a part of it as anything, and I think her presence now is even more powerful than it was, like Obi-Wan – when the saber cuts him down, he becomes more powerful. I feel like that’s what’s happened with Carrie. I think the legacy should continue.”

Lightsaber. Cardiac arrest on a transcontinental flight. Tomato. Tomato. 

Star Wars fans and people with a decent conscience are still recovering from seeing a digitally reincarnated Peter Cushing as Grand Moff Tarkin in Rogue One. Disney has made it very clear they’re done with that creepy failed experiment, and are working on more lasting ways to bring Walt back to life from his icy crypt. The Fisher scenes will be chopped out of her various previously shot footage. Expect her to look amazing in IX.

In the not too distant future CGI human recreation will stop looking Polar Express freaky and be nearly indistinguishable from reality. Studios and their technology divisions are working feverishly to make this happen, even as they smile at their fifteen million dollar a movie high maintenance actors and tell them this love is forever. Eventually, we’ll all be replaced by computerized beings working round the clock at a third of the cost. Think Central Americans who speak perfect English. There’s no way to compete.