For all ways there are to mock the 50 Shades BDSM book turned bean flicking movie series for lonely hearts, they nailed Dakota Johnson in casting. She looks like every attainable girl in college or work. The shy woman you’re certain is hiding some crazy kink. Look for the live porcupine in a cage next to the bed. Bring Benadryl and large tweezers.
In reality, the naughty librarian is a pure porn play. Chicks into the Dewey Decimal System rarely have bullwhips and crotchless panties back at the Zalman King New York loft apartment. How can you afford six grand a month on rent? Shelving jobs pay better than I remember.
Dakota Johnson born of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith need not do what both her parents did to break into the business in the 70’s. That makes her more believable for this mild torture porn movie series featuring lots of costume ball masks and bare ass. Fifty million women and their beta male movie companions can’t be wrong.
Photo Credit: Splash News