Danielle Bregoli Faces Felonies

You never know what zany antics will happen when you get your violent middle school daughter breast implants and unleash her on the world. If you work backward from the inevitable death by eighteen, you have a timeline of all types of Basketball Diaries shit. Throw in an omnipresent cellphone camera and you’re drinking everybody’s milkshake.

Bregoli took a break from her fake Los Angeles school and anger management classes to return to Florida to face juvenile charges of theft and filing false police reports. Her various trailer trash crimes related to altercations with her mother prior to her newfound fame. Bregoli’s currently also facing civil action from Kimberly Peterson and every other chick this silicone gremlin ever punched on video tapes now owned by TMZ and running incessantly. There’s no reason to sue a broke-ass alley way Lolita. A whistling teapot minor with a Hollywood agent and reality show deals being crafted is another matter.

Bregoli was spotted in the Florida courthouse largely giggling and breast-strutting aside her ginormous everywhere bodyguard. Reporters like to ask her if she’s taking any of this growing legal and criminal history seriously. That seems rather patronizing. Also sexist. Nobody would’ve asked Al Capone the same when running the streets as a young teen. Bregoli laughs to herself a lot. It makes more visual sense if you picture her doing the same in a prison hospital prior to shock treatment.

We all know this doesn’t end well. If the modern gladiator content has taught us anything, it’s the ability to ignore the morality and go with the entertainment value. MTV, you’ve got two, maybe three years left. Ignore the advice of legal counsel, it’s always been your best move.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}