Indians Ditching Snapchat

The subcontinent flexed its muscle by driving Snapchat’s app rating to one star on iTunes after Snap CEO Evan Spiegel said expanding into poor ass countries like India and Spain were not on his agenda. Spiegel declared Snapchat to be the app of the idle rich then plowed Miranda Kerr in the ass after buying the rights for a hundred million in stock options. Both seemed like incredibly honest moments.

After millennials decided to take on $200,000 in debt in exchange for journalism degrees, Silicon Valley turned to India and China for their programming class. Millions of put out Indians is no laughing matter. It’s like an SEC coach talking shit about broken home kids with high school rape convictions. Who’s going to play linebacker?

Snapchat corporate issued a statement claiming the India-is-a-big-fucking-dump comments were never uttered by Spiegel, but attributed to him by a fired employee now suing the company. It hasn’t seemed to quell the Indian rage. They’re doing what they do best. Internet subterfuge. Now your app rating sucks and your Twitter photo is a donkey. Neither of which will put a dent in your twenty billion dollar company or your ability to fuck Victoria’s Secret supermodels. Pyrrhic Victory comes to mind.

Less attention is being given to fact that India is objectively a giant shit show of a country. 146 out of 187 is not where you want to be sitting on the UN’s list of per capita income. You’re borderline Ethiopia. India doesn’t have millions of kids with an inordinate amount of free time to send high school tit pics and puppy face memes to one another. Snapchat is an immense time suck. Can you afford bikini selfies? If you’re wading through acres of garbage dumps searching for sustenance, Snapchat time contributes to your family starving to death. 

The app itself is free. Download away. It’ll be a collective sign that you’ve truly given up hope. Circle your nuclear bomb like the telepaths in Beneath the Planet of the Apes and await the end of days. Be sure to Snap it.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}