Khloe Kardashian Misses Bruce

Conversations happen when two people at least pretend to give a fuck about each other. The Kardashians and discount Kardashians, the Jenners, can manage to fart self-pitying monologues through their collapsing lips. That’s all. Caitlyn Jenner and Khloe Kardashian talk at each other about Bruce’s death in a clip from the next Keeping Up With The Kardashians. 

I just really feel like over the last year and a half we certainly have grown apart. Day after day after month after month, nobody calls, nobody checks in. Just, ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ I haven’t gotten that phone call from anybody. You can’t help but sit there and think, ‘OK, is it because I transitioned? They don’t like me anymore?’ I want to know what I did wrong, what I didn’t do wrong, what I did right, and move forward.

Jenner hasn’t even been a woman for two years. She already sounds like a guilt-driven grandmother getting her applesauce through an IV. Except her family can’t leave her to die. She’s too crafty. She crawls onto the KUWTK set looking to capitalize on her family. Her voice says stroke. Her eyes say massive dose of Thorazine.

Khloe Kardashian would save a DASH body thong from a burning building before her former stepdad. Khloe sees an orange mannequin with twelve strands of hair. She wishes that mannequin still looked like a transitioning Leatherface:

For me, you’re all I remember, Bruce was. So not having you in my life, it’s a huge blow because I’m like OK, my second dad, this guy that I’ve grown up with, that raised me, was taken away from me, but no one really let me have that.

Deciding between Bruce and Caitlyn. A real Sophie’s choice. If these two actually listened to each other they’d kill themselves. They won’t. Somebody else needs to take up this assignment.

_{Photo credit: E!}