Stephen Belafonte Hot Nanny

Mel B’s Billy Zane ripoff husband Stephen Belafonte hired a 26 year old german nanny named Lorraine Gilles to look after their children, then promptly impregnated her and forced her to get an abortion and then fired her. This is what rappers describe as a “boss move.” He also paid her $300,000 over the course of her nannying career, meaning their house was extremely messy and the children subsisted mainly on Flaming Hot Cheetos. That being said it’s probably better for your kids to have a whore nanny than a nurturing one, as it might become a hilarious standup bit some day. 

According to court documents, Belafonte referred to Gilles as his “ride or die bitch”, a move which should have found him divorced and unfriended immediately. He’s a producer who hasn’t produced anything in nearly a decade. Everyone knows producer is the go-to nondescript self applied job title of rapists and idle heirs. Apart from beating his wife and guilt tripping her into threesomes, he was almost certainly removing her checkbook from her hand bag. He’s a strong candidate for the worst person of all time. He did pretty well in Hollywood. It’s unclear if he ever pretended to be a die hard Spice Girls fan. 

If your husband ever hires a 26 year old german nanny who looks like a Swank centerfold, sever ties. You want the chick to be a solid three hundred pounds and a cleft palate. Schwarzenegger impregnated his nanny and he’s a better looking woman. Clearly the system is broken, if you can’t raise your own kids perhaps stop reproducing. Do not trust these new robots that are coming out. 

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