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Glam Masters Seems Sufficiently Shitty

May 8, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Kim Kardashian is teaming with Lifetime television on a new reality competition show, Glam Masters. Kardashian locked herself in her muse cage for three months and came out with a plan for beauty bloggers face off in a head to head makeup contest. Can you make Khloe look like a girl? If you’re thinking, I’m not a fucking magician, you’re so not a Glam Master.

Liz Gately, whose job it is to create feminist regressive TV shows for Lifetime, promoted Glam Masters with the zeal of Elon Musk shilling an eighty thousand dollar car that goes three blocks between charges. Assuming no head winds.

“We are so excited to bring Kim’s trend-setting vision of style and beauty to television’s newest competition series. The stakes couldn’t be higher with the chance to work with one of the most successful entrepreneurs and brands on the planet,”

Yeah, forgot the kicker. The winner of Glam Masters gets to work for Kim Kardashian making her psoriasis look like colorful gobstoppers. Inquire if you can swap grand prizes for a $25 Starbucks gift card and a shredding of any document with your real name and address on it.

In addition to Glam Masters, Lifetime will be introducing Model Moms, with Yolanda Hadid. A competition show that challenges surgically altered teen girls to see how many relatively famous mulatto men they can fuck in between medically inadvisable blood transfusions. If you have the IQ of a fig, you’re going to want in on this. Something has to be the next big AIDS crisis.

Programming is entirely niche now. More and more you can judge people’s very soul by the specific channels they choose. Lifetime’s pivot from stupid women to incredibly stupid women is a risk. Basic cable is a fixed pie. Once Mama June busts her gastric staples, presume she’s going to consume most of it.

Photo credit: Lifetime

Photo Credit: @kimkardashian / Instagram

Tags: kim kardashian




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