One Girl, Two Cups, Shares Her Shocking United Airlines Story

America is a lazy nation, save for jumping bandwagons. Everybody’s doing it. Nicole Harper took to Facebook and the local news to explain how United Airlines flight attendants made her pee in a cup on the airplane rather than use the restroom. According to Harper, she has an overactive bladder requiring frequent trips to the lavatory. A condition more commonly known as the single worst person to sit next to on an airplane. She’s a reasonably attractive woman. Still, not worth it.

A few holes in Harper’s story. When the flight attendants denied her a piss trip because the airplane was on descent and expecting turbulence, it was she who insisted upon the cup, err, cups. She filled the first one easily what with her excitable bladder. Also, this wasn’t a United Airlines flight, it was Mesa Airlines, subbed out to United for the shorter KC to Houston hop. 

After she filled the two cups, Harper was escorted to the restroom to empty her bounty. Odd that they didn’t think to escort her to pee in the restroom in the first place if the plan was to have her take an uphill stroll on a bumpy flight with two full cups of urine in her hands. The FAA loves a good curveball. Harper claims for her public urination, she was treated like a common criminal:

“The flight attendants treated me like I had committed a crime, stating they would be filing a report, calling in the hazmat team to clean the entire row (let me mention there was no mess involved) and told me I would need to talk with the pilot after the flight.”

Thanks for your guarantee you didn’t tinkle on the seat. All the same, as the guy taking your seat on the next flight, I appreciate the hazmat spray down.