Scarlett Johansson Tonguing Colin Jost

Last Saturday marked the final episode of one of Saturday Night Live’s most successful seasons in years, thanks in large part, or entirely, to the Trump election. The cast celebrated with a wrap party at Rockefeller Center. Guest star Scarlett Johansson celebrated by exploring the inside of Weekend Update host Colin Jost with her tongue. The activist attended the party after portraying Ivanka Trump during the cold opening. Another word for Johansson’s vagina.

Johansson is in the middle of divorcing her second beta husband, Romain Dauriac. But the allure of pasty comedians is too much for actresses to handle. Olivia Wilde can’t get enough of Jason Sudeikis’ wisecracking dick. Naya Rivera is sexually attracted to coiffed lipstick lesbian David Spade. Johansson wasn’t necessarily rebelling against the actress code of fucking by dating billionaire Frenchie Dauriac. But he can’t compete with wetness-inducing yucks. According to an all reliable source:

[Johansson and Jost] were at the bar in front of everyone .?.?. they made out at least twice .?.?. Then they went back to talking and hanging with other people. Scarlett and Colin were flirting and canoodling in full view of everyone at the afterparty, including the ‘SNL’ cast and crew. They were laughing and seemed to really hit it off.

Thirty-two-year-old Johansson spoke out against monogamy during the announcement of her divorce. She told Playboy:

I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it’s a beautiful idea. And the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing. I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person. I might be skewered for that, but I think it’s work. It’s a lot of work.

Women over thirty are already eyeing old age. Unlike Jennifer Lopez and Madonna, Johansson doesn’t have slutty twenty-something backup dancers to help fuck away the pain of aging. At least Jost, thirty-four, looks like teen twink power bottom. Good enough. Johansson doesn’t often hear the word “no.” But with Jost she might hear “penetrate me.” Considering her new progressive haircut, she probably has the strap-on handy.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram, Splash News}