Sly Stallone Lets You Sip The Juice

May 5, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

Sylvester Stallone is an investor in Mulberry Street Pizza which boasts three locations in the LA area and a ton of fake Yelp reviews. That doesn’t mean it isn’t good, Don Johnson’s kids will one star you if they can’t smoke inside. 

Stallone went on Instagram to promote Mulberry along with some guy named Richie Palmer who is a fifty something guy with one of those weird bulging veins on his abdomen. A tell tale sign you’re pumping something into yourself you can’t find over the counter. Your grandpa stacked lumber ten hours a day. He didn’t have that feature. 

Sly looks fantastic for a ninety year old man. We’ve got to rethink the stigma surrounding steroids. Sure it might kill you eventually, so will losing all of your testosterone and muttering to yourself in a lap blanket. You’d be smart to take fifty Stallone years over living to a hundred in a cubicle. Once you near fifty it’s an obvious call to start procuring testosterone. Maybe you can get it from a horse, fuck it, live a little. That’s not to say start doing weird Chinese shit like snorting rhino horn. Your dick will remain the exact same size. 

A doctor will prescribe you any drug your heart desires if you pay him in cash. Most of these slowly kill you. In terms of risk versus reward, testosterone is the best one out there next to alcohol. Clooney’s skin isn’t naturally glowing that way. He paid for it. This should become a major cultural divide as the science improves. Stallone is clearly Patient Zero. How’s Dr Phil looking? Exactly. I know a guy. 

Photo Credit: Instagram  

Tags: sylvester stallone

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