The World Passing By Jimmy Fallon

Antiquated funnyman and The Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon sat down with the New York Times for a lengthy interview about the changing landscape of late night. Fallon isn’t a drunk and his show isn’t a crusty fossilized turd preserving the airy bipartisanship of network television’s past. All of this according to Fallon.

Tonight Show ratings have been plummeting in the wake of Trump Mania, with left-leaning comedians like Stephen Colbert stealing viewers at an increasing rate. Recently Colbert drew an audience of 3 million people who haven’t heard of Netflix or HBO to Fallon’s 2.7 million people who haven’t heard of Netflix or HBO. Fallon responds with his irreverent wit:

We’re winning in something. People in the height requirement between 5-7 and 5-11, we’re No. 1, from 11:50 to 11:55. I never, ever care. I’ll know when someone fires me.

Heyuck. Fallon was famously attacked for tousling Trump’s hair during a segment on his show in September. He claims:

I didn’t do it to humanize him. I almost did it to minimize him. I didn’t think that would be a compliment. [People] have a right to be mad. If I let anyone down, it hurt my feelings that they didn’t like it. I got it. After this happened, I was devastated. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to have fun.

Limitless media outlets facilitated by the Internet have led to the fall of the Big Three networks. The blasé cooing babble of yesteryear’s late night shows has dissipated. People who are sexually attracted to donuts can find like-minded donut fuckers online. You can’t please everyone now that we can validate our views with a quick Google search. This hasn’t slowed down Fallon:

I just can’t read Twitter. Then I can’t read the news. I can’t read the internet. I’m a people pleaser. If there’s one bad thing on Twitter about me, it will make me upset.

The death of Fallon’s brand of schtick is imminent. Form an opinion. Anything. Tell us you want to style Trump’s hair with your jizz. Whatever you’ve got. Fallon won’t even come clean about his alcoholism. He was at his best when he almost cut off his finger while on a bender. That’s a knee-slapper. When the world crumbles Fallon be the clown standing on the fault line playing Lip Sync Battle with Kim Jong-un.

_{Photo Credit: New York Times}