At only nineteen years old Bella Thorne has learned that the key to winning legions of followers is fake fucking a Kardashian-adjacent douchebag. America’s Busted Sweetheart was randomly caught by the paps holding hands with Scott Disick while leaving 1 OAK Nightclub in West Hollywood. This comes on the heels of posting photographs from Disick’s backyard and pool. Which came on the heels of swearing off the Disick for good following pap opportunities at Cannes. Thorne claimed Disick was too much of a drinker. To be fair, she said those statements while high and sensing his whiskey breath on her pierced clit.
Thorne learned about Scheherazade in school and then walked out the door because she knew she had all the life ammo she needed. Maintaining the interest of tabloids is an art-form. D-listers surface when they have a mental breakdown or kill themselves. Natural causes don’t cut it. Thorne is crafty enough to create some pit stops along the way. Squeaking her plastic parts against a thirty-four-year-old with super US Weekly name recognition was a good start. Now she’s masterfully rolling out her transactional on again off again with Disick while we wait with baited breath. Scheherazade wishes.
After getting into the car with Disick, Thorne toked up in front of the paps like the delicate courtroom sketch of an off-brand Barbie that she is. This comes after the fact that she put a cease and desist on Disick’s genitals because he parties too hard, previously stating:
I don’t drink, and he really drinks a lot… I just don’t party hardcore like that and it was way too much for me. I was like, ‘Woah, this is not the way I live my life, bruh.’
If Thorne keeps adding plot twists she might be able to maintain her fame into her twentieth year. After that, pray it’s your appearance in England that gets the Islamist welcome mat. You don’t have to die to be famous. Though a few of your fans will definitely have to.
Photo Credit: Splash News, Backgrid