Chloe Lattanzi Survives Nine Hours Off Social Media

Chloe Lattanzi became the latest semi-well known person to call a halt to social media due to suddenly discovering its toxic nature. Like quitting eating raw chicken at sixty after your nineteenth bowel resection. Who knew?

In her goodbye speech, the self-described singer pointed out nasty comments on her latest titty pics. The last place you’d expect to find mean comments. Spank and move on. There’s a line. Many people insisted Lattanzi was a bad daughter for posting smiling happy photos while her mom undergoes treatment for breasts cancer. Her mom is Olivia Newton-John, explaining why Chloe is more famous than your average circus sized down-top vixen on Instagram.

The trollish comments reveal a completely disregard for Lattanzi’s work. Somebody scream sexism. You wouldn’t expect a cop to sit on the bench when a parent falls ill. Instagram tits are Lattanzi’s beat. The science is hardly settled as to her massive cleavage selfies hurting her mom’s chances of beating cancer. Let the woman work. 

Lattanzi’s social media exile lasted nine hours. Or from the time she fell asleep until the time she woke up in a panic that she’d cut off her only outlet for professional success.

Once your taking dollars spinning around the main stage, the pole never leaves your blood. Social media is the new strip joint. If not for Secret Service, Melania would’ve grinding naked in a cage ten feet above the floor in a Roman gentlemen’s club hours after the Vatican visit. It’s a Siren’s call. Form your ginormous tits into a heart shaped impression and send a shout out to your mom in the radiation ward. Trust me, she doesn’t want a song.

_{Photo credit: Chloe Lattanzi Instagram}