Lena Dunham Tanked Another Candidate (VIDEO)

Note to future political candidates with crappy foresight: don’t ask Lena Dunham for her endorsement. If she offers it up unilaterally, treat it as you would her making an offer of sexual intercourse. Cover yourself in a prophylactic latex and run. Not necessarily in that order.

Lena Dunham recorded endorsement messages for Jim Johnson in the Democratic primary for governor of New Jersey yesterday. Not only is Dunham viscerally unappealing in her boudoir get up, she’s the consummate outsider. Outside of the Upper West Side of Manhattan and various segments of porkpie hat wearing Brooklyn, she’s pure carpetbagger. An obvious foreigner to your ways on your screen insisting she’s got a hot tip for you on your next elected representative.

Dunham admits that she’s New York born and bred, but feels a kinship to New Jersey because she’s visited the shore before and also used to shop at the Jersey malls since Manhattan has none, don’t you know. Imagine the boner kill factor at those Forever 21 stores. Also, her “life partner” is from New Jersey, which is simply embarrassing for everyone involved.

Dunham assured New Jersey voters who naturally love listening to elite New Yorkers before casting their ballots that Johnson is not an “ableist”, which might mean he isn’t prejudiced against people with disabilities, or nothing at all. Also, he apparently wants to bring back housing to New Jersey. Important for when the weather gets chilly and you want your citizens to consider indoor living. Assuming Dunham isn’t intellectually retarded, assume she simply doesn’t read up on the issues she promotes.

Johnson took it on the chin in the primary voting results, garnering but 21% of the vote, leaving him with little but his pajama clad memories of Lena Dunham. There isn’t enough liquor in all of the Garden State to drown out those demons.