Zayn Malik Seems Uniquely Reasonable

June 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Nobody likes the TSA junior detective kit set up at airports. Even terrorists seeking an eternal heaven can’t abide a two hour wait to go bare feet with strangers. Though everybody begrudgingly agrees they don’t want to end up on the slamming into a hi-rise end of an Allahu Akbar yodel. 

Zayn Malik, the Muslim kid they quota’d into the British boy band, One Direction, claims he’s often been detained or frisked in security lines at airports. He’s come to expect the not random selection. In a refreshing bit of non-bitching celebrity self-awareness, the half-Pakistani singer say he gets why it happens:

“I understand the level of caution that needs to be taken, especially now, in the light of certain events at home. I don’t think there’s any benefit to getting angry — it’s something that comes with the climate. I understand why they’ve got to do it.”

You may live another thousand years and never hear a successful entertainer speak in this manner. Maybe Islam is the religion of peace only its peaceful members have all been hiding in boy bands. 

The word “profiling” became evil by sheer force of emotionally driven people refuting science. You couldn’t survive as a species without profiling. Pull up to any cold pressed juice outlet in a high-end vehicle and you’ll witness the effect. Dude in the Mercedes SL is getting laid. Kia Optima, gonna have to put in the work.

The fact that TSA is detaining some kid from One Direction for three hours shows their incompetence, not the ineffectiveness of paying extra attention to swarthy young men of Caliphate descent. Zayn Malik hit the jackpot. He’s young and rich and fucking a celebrity model. He’s found himself some inner peace with the little annoying things he can’t control. Wait until the identity politics short bussers catch wind of Malik’s acceptance quote and label him a traitor. Nice knowing you, last nice guy in Hollywood.

Photo credit: Getty Images

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