Bella Thorne is becoming the girl who cried dick, but the media doesn’t seem excited to call her out on her bluff. The social media sensation could play a dumpster come to life in Beauty and the Beast while walking off a night with fake on again off again fuck buddy Scott Disick. The fleabag twosome enjoyed an unholy meal at Vandal before heading to Up and Down nightclub at 1:00 am Wednesday morning. This abomination of a date night follows their song and dance for the paps on Monday at Catch Rooftop restaurant. Following Thorne’s multiple denials of any relationship with Disick.
So, the look. At nineteen-years-old, Thorne has not yet fully grasped the potential of makeup. Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe she isn’t. After seeing these pics that would fit nicely in Avril Lavigne’s take on The Ring video, I was waiting for knee-jerk makeup-free reactions from the Internet such as “fresh-faced,” “glowing,” “brave,” and “feminist icon for the ages.” If Chrissy Teigen went makeup-free for a slut stroll they’d tear down the Washington Monument and put up a gigantic pussy in its place. Party City is already churning out their “Slutty Bella Thorne” costume in a bag. Except, the slutty is implied.
As opposed to unwarranted praise, The Daily Mail almost brought me to climax with the headline “Long night? Bella Thorne Looks Worse for Wear” and ensuring snippets “Bella Thorne emerged looking tired and disheveled” “The teenager looked weary… and slightly worse for wear with messy hair and a scruffy tracksuit.” I can live another day. Thorne recently stated that she never had sex with Disick. Whether this new morning after freak parade down the streets of NYC proves otherwise is yet to be seen. Something tells me this sex tape wouldn’t be a career-maker.
Photo Credit: Splash News