Jim Carrey Ain’t Paying for Shit

The parents of Jim Carrey’s ex-girlfriend who killed herself in a fit of depression have amended their civil suit against Jim Carrey to include the fact he failed to pay for their daughter’s funeral expenses as he promised. 

Cathriona White’s parent claim that Carrey was the man who precipitated their daughter’s suicide, by giving her three STDs, dumping her, and providing her access to the pharmaceuticals she used to OD. White ultimately consumed a cocktail of Ambien, a high blood pressure med, and Oxy. She left a note:

“I’ve spent 3 days now in disbelief that you’re not here. I can go on brokenhearted and try to put the pieces back. I could, I just don’t have the will this time. I’m sorry you felt I wasn’t there for you. I tried to give you my best part.”

Then she left some practical notes about her burial and possessions. Very Irish.

The painkillers White downed were prescribed to Carrey under his celebrity pharmaceutical pseudonym, Arthur King. You may recall from the Anna Nicole Smith case, famous people don’t buy drugs under their own name. Or prostitutes. Save for Charlie Sheen, and you see how that wound up.

Carrey’s reps contend that White was a routinely depressed women and it’s not Carrey’s fault she took the breakup so hard. Also, she either purloined his pills or he simply forgot them when they broke-up. Either way, not his fault she tossed them back. The STDs, nobody’d talking about so much. Save for the tabloid world. It’s a big SEO winner. Plus three is fairly impressive. Imagine that third date disclaimer.

According to reports, Carrey pulled back on his funeral expense promise when he learned that White’s parents owned the funeral parlor in Ireland that hosted their daughters interment. Convenient if true. Plus, they are kind of suing him for big cash for helping to cause their daughter’s death.

There’s no way for Carrey to come out of this situation looking like anything but a shit. That’s probably built in. Now he’s working on denying his ex-girlfriend’s parents from shaking him down. You can’t really sue for herpes by proxy. Or for the fact your daughter was madly in love with Jim Carrey. Charlie Sheen’s ex’s have The AIDS, but they’re still kicking.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images / Instagram}