Kris Jenner Bikini Terror

Kris Jenner’s uterus has spent decades working overtime as a whore Pez dispenser. Now it’s this whore’s turn to be in the spotlight. Jenner looks like a beach-ready Hulk in a new picture posted to Khloé Kardashian’s Instagram. With over one million likes, this selfie is proof that water buffalos are all the rage this season. Beastiality is alive and well and happening on the Jenndashians’ Instagrams. Khloé includes the caption:

Kris Jenner looking like a snack! I see you mommy! #6KidsAndBad!

“Snack” meaning ten-course meal. No word yet on how Jenner hacked Khloé’s account or if she’s a threat to other Instagram users. The Jenndashian madam has been vacationing around Europe on a luxurious yacht that will make you question the hours you put into your work. Why lift a finger when you can just be a prostitute and surround yourself with prostitutes? Now I understand Bella Hadid. Jenner hasn’t posted any receny bikini pictures on her own account. Looks more candid or unwanted when someone else posts a shameless body-forward pic. “Oh, this ol’ thing?”  

Ol’ thing, indeed. Jenner’s non-droopy stomach means that some poor nurse was in charge of hauling her forty pounds of excess pregnancy skin to the hazardous bin after plastic surgery. Of course, when your hips require specially made car seats, maybe the belly stays in tact. Jenner’s face is giving Björk face swapped with Liza Minelli and she’s overall a major dick shrinker. Like mother, like daughters.

^{Photo Credit: Instagram}