Krupa and Glanville Settle Smelly Snatch Spat

August 2, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Our long national terminally fishy twat nightmare is over. Joanna Krupa and Brandi Glanville have settled Krupa’s defamation suit against Glanville for going on Andy Cohen’s show and insisting reliable sources told her Krupa’s vag smelled something wretched. Followed up by explaining what a vagina was to Andy Cohen. An asshole for weird people.

The lawsuit spanned many years and saw many Los Angeles court resources that could have otherwise gone to providing legal cover to illegal immigrants go to waste. At one point, Krupa’s now ex-husband was brought in to testify as to the quality of his then wife’s pussy. Grade-A he said with a smack of his lips. Or something like that. The stenographer made it sound classier.

The court filing on settlement of the case did not provide information as to any financial settlements. Assume there were some. Glanville’s not made of cash. Mostly a lubricated industrial polyurethane banned under the Paris Accords. But some renumeration had to be made. And, naturally, the obligatory fake publicly issued apology:

“I want to apologize to Joanna Krupa for the statements I have made about her. I regret ever making such statements about Joanna Krupa; I also certainly never intended my statements to be taken so seriously and out of proportion. I apologize as I never wanted my statements to affect Joanna Krupa’s reputation and I wish her nothing but continued success in life.”

The meaningless regurgitation of these apologies is something that dates back to dueling days hundreds of years ago when honor and public reputation were a man’s most treasured possessions. They hold no value in a world of drunk women fucking each other’s husband and running around with discharge dripping down off their dangling tampons. Yet, there you go. Fake apology and a check of some amount and this massive slight is forgiven.

If there’s any lesson to be learned here, it’s that only prostitutes openly disrespect one another’s snatches and a whoring life is perilous existence. These slender and reasonably still attractive chicks are better off dolling themselves up, pretending they went to school, and landing a senior citizen with decent real estate holdings. The veteran QB knows there’s no shame in launching the ball into the stands to avoid a sack.

Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News


Tags: brandi glanville

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