Little Shop Of Horrible Remakes

Hollywood is starting to look like the ouroboros. Old ideas have come full circle. Instead of fresh, new, and daring the cinema business is refusing to leave its comfort zone. The term “old” now applies to anything that happened the week prior. Studios think people refuse to watch any movie that didn’t release within the last three months. So remakes, reissues, reel resurrections and sequels no one asked for has become the rage. It’s an easy cash grab. But I’m still alive. Just because I’ve owned VCR and Netflix account in the same lifetime doesn’t mean I want to see new renditions of cult classics. 

We have word that Warner Bros., who is remaking the film as a musical, is looking at stars Josh Gad (Frozen, Beauty and the Best) and Rebel Wilson (the Pitch Perfect films) to lead the film in the roles of Seymour and Audrey, roles played in the 1986 film by Rick Moranis and Ellen Greene, respectively. Neither Gad nor Wilson has been locked into the roles at the time of of this article, but both parties are said to be interested and they both certainly fit the bill with their comedic chops and impressive vocal performances in other films. The film, which currently has no release date scheduled, is still in development but it will be interesting to see if they do a beat-for-beat remake or if they opt to go for the more violent ending originally intended for the 1986 version.

I hope the body positivity version of Little Shop Of Horrors gets canned. How can the plant Audrey II and lead actress Rebel Wilson both have the same insatiable appetite and both take up three-quarters of any room? Add Josh Gad to that equation and you’re going to need a really wide angle lens. If Rebel Wilson is cast as Audrey I instead of Audrey II I will utilize my right to protest at the nearest AMC or Regal. I’ve had enough. With PC agenda written all over this reboot somehow the plant is going to be trans. I wish Hollywood had instead some kind of constitutional arrangement that would prevent these ideas from ever reaching paper, much less my local movie theater.  

_{Photo Credit: Backgrid}