I require a lot of bang for my buck. If I’m going to shell out cash and dedicate time off from work there needs to be a good reason. Music festivals, for the most part, fall under a good reason. Drugs, loud music, and sex. But other than word of mouth from someone who’s been before, you don’t know which festivals really put out. There’s nothing worse than showing up to a festival full of low-grade schwag bag dealers, rain outs, headlining artists that didn’t show up, and a night of blue balls. But Lollapalooza is apparently one of your best chances to at least get laid.
According to a nationwide survey of over 1,100 people by Lovehoney, the number one horniest music festival in the country is Lollapalooza, which kicks off Thursday — music festivals are crowded and hardly have private areas, so where do people have sex? In the porta potty??According to the survey, 30 percent of people get naughty in their tent, while 15 percent bang it out in the car, and a brave 13 percent just go at it in the middle of the crowd. Damn.And get this – of those who’ve already had sex at a music festival, 40 percent said they did the deed with their partner, but 25 percent had sex with a complete stranger.
Ditch the stuck up chick you’re with who is trying to get you to be a sophisticated individual. No one is slapping skin or enjoying youth at the Opera. Gambling on getting some unexpected action is the main reason why I even go outside of the house. I have a high-speed internet connection, Netflix, and enough naughty videos until I have wrinkles. But you need the real thing. You haven’t lived life until you’ve screwed a college student next to a pile of piss in a porta potty.
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