Somebody on Instagram noted that Mariah Carey looked “like a whale” in a self-promotional late night romantic Instagram with her non-heterosexual young dancer boyfriend. Obviously this troll has never seen a real whale. Carey simply looks like an overweight middle aged woman wrapped tightly in girdles and squeezed into a tight casing for show.
The accurately heavyset comment in sharp contrast to ten thousand blind adorations. Carey herself never answers trolls, though she’s surely eaten their billy goats before.
In a sign far worse for the Carey Containment Program, last week the corpulent diva was the subject of whispered fatty jokes from her own audience at Ceasar’s Palace. Many murmured in the crowd as Carey strode around the stage in outfits revealing the fuller extent of her body goo. Mostly they felt sorry for the dancers expected to catch her.
It’s one thing when the rando unemployed males living in their parents basement are ripping you a new lipid spigot, quite another when the people who paid good money to see you perform Dreamlover from twenty-five years and fifty pounds ago turn on you. I’ve seen this happen with Yankees fans at home games. This ends with Carey taking a hot dog to the face. A good news bad news for the chunker.
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