The Turning Out of Kaia Gerber

It’s a weird thing when your parents size you up as a pubescent teen and tell you it’s time to start dressing provocatively if you want to eat. Even weirder when you’re filthy rich and that not eating part isn’t even close to a legit threat. Your folks simply want to turn you out.

Cindy Crawford and her tequila millionaire model husband, Rande Gerber, are Little League parents. Except instead of living through their sad sack kids in the dugout, they’re taking off her bra and sending her out on the town at fifteen.

They bred their genetic doppelgängers of pretty fay boy like dad and tall slinky girl like mom into models as soon as prevailing laws allowed. With a hundred million in the bank and both parents having fucked important men in numerous industries, their kids could’ve had anything teed up for their future. Their parents chose skimpy tight leather clothing for their teens.

Likely there are multiple standard deviations of subpar IQ tests the world isn’t privy too. Still, you couldn’t set them up with a catamaran business in Laguna or something to do with Jaguar sales? 

Kaia Gerber was all over Los Angeles hot spots this past weekend in various stages of revealing outfits. Most girls had to sneak about at fifteen. Kaia has her mom undoing her buttons before she leaves and urging her out of undergarments. It’s like a Handmaid’s Tale only there are no evil theocratic men in charge. The women are raping themselves out of attention whore instinct.

You have to wonder about parents who encourage their kids to be masturbation fodder. Somewhere between being a fuddy-duddy and a pimp lies the answer to decent parenting.

_{Photo credit: Backgrid / IMG Model Portfolio / Backgrid}