Aaron Carter Shares HIV Test Results On Television

Well, I just finished writing up Hate Hudson’s Cosmo quiz C-section hilarity for WWTDD before I realized that someone else covered it, so now I’m going to write about stupid ass Aaron Carter and his HIV free ten-pound body. The man who is for sure not going to make it another year might look like he saw Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club and said “This is me now,” but in reality, he’s just freakishly sickly looking without actually having the HIVs. But when your face has ribs, things can’t be at 100%. 

All of this was revealed to the twelve people who know who Aaron Carter is on the television series The Doctors. Carter was apparently shocked when he realized he was looking into a mirror and not watching a deleted scene from The Walking Dead deemed too gruesome for basic cable. Instead of going to the hospital to deal with that mess, he booked the only show that would have him. The Z-list celebrity way. The Doctors, Dr. Rodriguez and Dr. Stork, tested Carter for all the buzz-worthy STDs, and his results – all negative – were revealed on television. Carter reacted with: 

Oh my God. Sorry, my heart is just, like … you gotta understand out there. It’s giving me anxiety. My heart is racing. I did not take any medications before I came here, actually in a couple of days, because I wanted to wean myself off of this.

But Rodriguez cautioned:

Listen up here, this is really important. You may be negative, but your system is so weak that it can’t fight off a yeast infection.

Carter recently proclaimed his second amendment enthusiasm in a video sent to TMZ on his way to perform at a crowded venue. Before being arrested for a DUI. Before coming out as bisexual. Before breaking down on stage. Before declaring he would only date women. Overall Carter seems to be in a good place. What a dumbass. I wanted to write about Kate Hudson. 

^{Photo Credit: YouTube}