Danielle Bregoli Lands Atlantic Record Deal (VIDEO)

Those parental cliches about eating your vegetables and studying and early to bed to ensure success in life seem particularly bullshit in the face of Danielle Bregoli landing a music contract with Atlantic Records. This following the 20,000,000th view of her “These Heaux” music video on YouTube. 

Bregoli, who insists she’s fourteen despite a pages long criminal record and tits mimicking the pros at the South Shore gentleman’s clubs, goes by the rapper name Bhad Bhabie. It’s not worth mocking a rap name unless you’re willing to spend the next six hours listing them all in order of blatant stupidity. 

According to a VP of A&R at Atlantic Records’ parent corp, Warner Music, Bregol is the kind of young star America is craving:

“Without a doubt, this girl is a real star with undeniable talent.” 

C’mon, you can do better. What about that Bulgarian underaged porn rack and the slutty come hither jail bait aura? 

At fourteen, Bregoli is the youngest female rapper ever to break onto the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. It’s unclear precisely who her competition would be in that age range. Willow Smith comes to mind and absolutely nobody else. And Willow Smith is lazy as fuck. Maybe that crazy Wisconsin eighth grader responsible for the Slenderman killing will lay down some verses and take the title back.

Not all music is crap. It’s simply that crap is easier to produce and sells the same or better than the non-crap. Nobody’s risking a Muslim terrorist attack in Manchester to see a prodigy do a classic Spanish guitar homage to Segovia. The question isn’t, why this foul mouthed delinquent, it’s, why not her? 

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}