Kim and Kanye’s Third Party Womb Carries a Girl Child

In case you were wondering about the reproductive dirty bomb placed into the womb of a random girl with less STDs than Kim Kardashian and her mentally ill husband, it’s a girl. According to medical reports on Kardashian’s uterus status, based on television show promo clips, had she tried to have a third baby herself, she may have died. Like a pioneer woman. Or those three neighbors in your apartment building you lost this past year to childbirth. There’s almost nobody left.

The medical excuse was designed to create drama and sound far more sympathetic than I want to keep breeding more merchandisable offspring with having to get crazy fat again. It’s almost like you forget I’m 5’2″ and have to cinch my waist with a metal basket to get back into grotesquely exaggerated hourglass form. 

In China, everybody wants a boy. In Calabasas, only the girls in the family thrive. The boys and men are slowly emasculated and forced to choose a life darning designer socks or opioid addictions, or both. You may leave, but not with your balls intact. It’s the ultimate feminist dream and feminists can’t even attach themselves to it in any manner. 

There’s a whole series of discussions about how the family dynamics will change once another girl joins the family. Something entirely theoretical for the parents who paid to produce the kid inside another woman and will pay to have her cared for until the time she’s ready to drop out of the seventh grade for lingerie modeling. Therapists can be brought in to handle anything to do with child on child scissor attacks. Instinctively, kids know when death is the better option.

_{Photo credit: Kim Kardashian Instagram / Getty Images / Splash News}