Former celebrity Lady Gaga is really limping to the barn with headline grabbers recently, first reigniting a fued with a defenseless elderly woman who’s confused and scared and now coming public with her battle with Fibromyalgia on Twitter, all in the name of pimping out her abortion Netflix reality series, Gaga: Five Foot Two. In a time when Taylor Swift is fueding with 89% of the population and Yolanda Hadid is on again off again dying from rival fake disease to the stars, Lyme Disease, Gaga is really going to have to step up her game.
Back in the late 2000’s, in what I consider to be the heyday of pop culture (when Lindsay Lohan was face forking Samantha Ronson and didn’t look like a worn out sock) celebrity exhaustion was the A-list disease to beat. Especially if you were making excuses for being a crack head. Gaga could really use a hit, so for her sake I hope Fibromyalgia catches on with the “in” crowd. “Over here, who are you wearing tonight?” “Oscar de la Renta.” “And what disease are you using to get attention?” “Why, Fibromyalgia, of course.” Gaga’s tweet reads:
In our documentary the #chronicillness #chronicpain I deal w/ is #Fibromyalgia I wish to help raise awareness & connect people who have it.
Most of you know Fibromyalgia as the disease that middle-aged women in elementary school teacher pants overcome in ad spots for Lyrica. If anything, this new revelation gives Lady Gaga an excuse for looking like she was hooked up to a bike pump and given one too many squirts of air. Assuming she takes Lyrica to manage her aches and pains, she might have fallen victim to the side effect of weight gain. We’ll have to punish our sense with her reality series to find out more on the harrowing details. Lady Gaga would shill black market handguns from Indiana on Instagram if it would make her a buck, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she joins the sisterhood of Lyrica ladies for a revamped commercial. She certainly looks the part these days.
Photo Credit: Instagram, YouTube