Lenny Dykstra Slides Into Lena Dunham’s DMs

Lenny Dykstra is the last of a dying breed. When celebrities and sports stars watch their mouth on social media, the outfielder isn’t afraid to catch whatever comes his way. It’s all about making a play at the end of the day. Even if the grand slam you’re trying to hit is with Lena Dunham. All girls look the same with the lights off. Maybe you’ll have to pull a few flaps of her fupa back, but that’s a minor sacrifice. It’s all about home plate, and coach always said to swing at everything you feel your bat can hit. 

DM me.

— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 7, 2017

Maybe Lenny is unaware Lena is the leader of the feminist revolution. Sir Dykstra does not have home field advantage in this match. The majority of men from his era don’t own or care to own twitter accounts to back up his perspective. Because even when you’re wrong on the internet, if enough people retweet you, your word is law and fact. Offended women call the World Wide Web their home. Where else can you go when taking a walk outside for your own health falls under patriarchal oppression. Dunham is naturally disgusting and Lenny says a woman’s primary goal should be to get married. Maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle on these issues. Lena did objectify baseball players with her tweet. Men are more than just a wallet with wieners, we are people too. 

Lenny Dykstra’s emergency statement on Feminism https://t.co/Li2yDWcVPM

— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 9, 2017

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