Bill O’Reily Drags Man’s Best Friend Into Kneelgate

October 19, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf | 0 Comments

Professional football players are pissing a lot of people off when kneeling for the national anthem before a game. The latest on the list to become openly upset online is Bill O’Reilly. I’d be angry all the time too if I was fired from Fox before I had a chance to touch Tomi Lahren. Sexual harassment allegations aside Bill truly believes that his pet Corgi, Holly, doesn’t have knees available to kneel for the national anthem. But in fact she does. Unless she lost them defending Texas in World War Two. But she also would probably be more interested in eating her own hind parts than protesting systemic oppression during a professional football game. Because you know, she’s a dog. 

According to O’Reilly, his beloved Corgi refuses to protest the murder of young black men by police officers both because 1) she respects America too much and 2) because she lacks knees. As everyone who has seen this tweet has told him, either Holly is a genetic freak, or O’Reilly somehow confused “being short” with “not having knees.” 

For Bill this faux pas falls under really smart or really senile. Most likely it’s some intern being forced to update that dog’s instagram. The only way to get people to pay attention on social media is to say something shocking. Otherwise you’re just like every other account. Anyone under the age of 30 who knows how to use the internet can call this correctly as a trolling tactic. O’Reilly has had more than enough time on his hands since he’s been on timeout from talking on TV. And in that time he has written a book. Not really sure why he used social media to promote the book when the majority of his die hard fans are soon to die in a nursing home somewhere in South Florida. It’s safe to say that they don’t own a Twitter or Instagram account. The upside to this entire situation is that the world can move on knowing Bill understands that dogs do in fact have knees. 



Tags: bill oreilly