The brevity of Taylor Swift’s relationships is finally making sense now that we know, thanks to her revealing new music video, that she, in fact, does not have a vagina. What we always suspected. Swift Inc.’s music video teaser posted to Instagram looks like an ad for a new unlicensed superhero roller coaster at a second-tier theme park, complete with moody Batman font and plenty of iMovie lightning. Representative of her mood. So brooding. So serious. So intense. And don’t forget to use UPS this holiday season for all of your packaging and shipping needs.
Swift answers the question “Could Ghost in the Shell have been any whiter?” with a “Hell ya!” thanks to her robo-titty and vag action in the …Ready For It? music video teaser. The new edgy Swift transforms into an AI robot ready to take down any and all h8ers standing in her way, and considering that the world is against the famous tall blonde one-hundred-pound millionaire, the numbers are considerable. Can’t she have anything? Exclusive source, AKA Taylor Swift’s dad, her first boyfriend, has this to say about her upcoming album Reputation:
A source exclusively told Us Weekly earlier this month that Reputation “chronicles her feuds” with longtime foes Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry and ex Calvin Harris. “It will be across multiple songs, somewhat cryptically, but also obvious,” the insider told Us. A second source described the highly anticipated album as “her most experimental work yet in terms of sound,” adding, “She’s definitely coming for the Grammys.”
Check out Swift being cryptically desperate in the teaser above and let us know how tragic and awful you think she is in the comments below.
Photo Credit: Instagram