Ninety-percent of the time I’m able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this video of the two makeup-smeared idiots babbling about Khloé’s Koko Kollection for her sister’s Kylie Cosmetics line. Feel like I was just writing in tongues. Kylie and Khloé giggle about their irresistible sex appeal while applying more and more lipstick to their faces. Their lips get bigger and bigger as their outlines go to shit, going from Ronald McDonald at the beginning of the video to full-blown rosebud anus faces at the end. When Kylie references her “dick sucking lips” I assume she’s just admitting to anal.
My inbox was stuffed with references to this video because the two knocked up sisters – who have remained coy about their pregnancies, probably waiting to time their announcements with the release of their baby diaphragm line – bring up the word “babies.” Note to all aspiring twenty-year-old reality stars: Turn your face into a running gag, get knocked up, and then start pimping your baby before it’s even born. After four and a half minutes of utter nonsense, the sisters’ turn their hoing into high-gear:
It’s [our makeup line] our baby together. We have eight.
We have so many babies. Who knew?
They then laugh in unison about how clever and cute they are. And that’s the news. Now your day is shot to hell too.
Photo Credit: YouTube