Fatal Attraction may be thirty years old, but its message is timeless: there’s no such thing as free sex. Doubly true for side sex for a married man. At some point, some loon’s boiling your daughter’s pet rabbit in a crockpot.
Former NBA All-Star Ray Allen’s in a war of stalker restraining orders with Bryant Coleman, a dude who works at the University of Central Florida communications office. Here’s a quick Honest Trailer version of what went down. Married Ray Allen was fucking around online trolling for easy pussy. This creepy Coleman fella posed as several different women over time seeking to engage in some dirty talk and picture sharing with Allen. The catfishing worked. Offline, this dude started visiting Allen’s wife’s restaurant and creepily tagging Ray Allen family photos for Facebook. See Fatal Attraction again quickly.
After Allen learned he’d been getting hard to a dude online and zero pussy was coming his way, he claims he confronted Coleman and got him to sign an NDA of sorts about the entire event. Also, an agreement to bugger off. Allen doesn’t mention money being exchanged, but that seems like a safe assumption. Coleman apparently couldn’t live without Ray for very long and started posting tons of Ray Allen personal social media shit online. Coleman inferred he and Allen had a consensual gay relationship. Pretty crazy since there are no gay black men, obviously.
Coleman preemptively filed a restraining order against Allen. Allen filed a counter restraining order, requiring him to reveal the details of his relationship with Coleman online, which you can assume his wife printed on the HP and subsequently framed for the wall.
Rather than a meaningful explanation of why a married man was pursuing chicks online, Allen’s legal team put out a Public Service Announcement:
“Ray regrets ever engaging with this person online and is thankful they never met in person. This experience has negatively impacted Ray, and he hopes that others might use his mistake to learn the dangers of communicating online with strangers.”
Yep, talking to strangers online is dangerous. Not necessarily for the first twenty or thirty reasonably hot chicks you were able to plow while your wife was gone, but this time around, for sure. You hit loony tunes.
The sole aspect of life that is harder or the rich and famous is trying to get some and get away with it. As easy as the trim seems to obtain, everybody is your enemy in this game. Everybody is targeting you for profit, exploitation, or gay masturbatory stalking. You could choose the safer option and sleep only with your wife, but that seems like the least likely option and not even worth discussing seriously.
Photo credit: Ray Allen / Instagram