LiAngelo Ball Saved From Captors

In a plot that plays out the same as Rush Hour 4 whenever they decide to make their reboot the President of The United States got a few sticky fingered Louis Vuitton sunglass stealing college basketball players off the hook. The most notable of the three players who were locked up abroad being LiAngelo Ball. He’s the middle son of LaVar Ball. LaVar evolved into a public figure after encouraging his son LaMelo to turn down a deal with Nike to release their own $400 Big Baller Brand self-branded sneaker. Ironically also most likely made in the same sweat shop in China across the street from a Nike factory. I’m going to take a wild guess and say sales aren’t so hot if your offspring is stealing from the store. 

Three U.C.L.A. basketball players who had been detained in China on suspicion of shoplifting were on their way back to Los Angeles on Tuesday after President Trump appealed to President Xi Jinping of China on their behalf.

The players were arrested last week in Hangzhou, China, and accused of stealing designer sunglasses at a shopping mall.

“The three U.C.L.A. men’s basketball student-athletes involved in the incident with authorities in Hangzhou, China, are on a flight back home to Los Angeles,” the Pac-12, the athletics conference to which the university belongs, said in a statement, adding that “the matter has been resolved to the satisfaction of the Chinese authorities.”

“We want to thank the president, the White House and the U.S. State Department for their efforts towards resolution,” the statement said, after the release of the players from the University of California, Los Angeles.

“What they did was unfortunate,” Mr. Trump had said of the players. “You know, you’re talking about very long prison sentences. They do not play games.”

If you can’t call in a favor from the president of your country to get your son out of jail you’re not “Big Ballin.” That’s about the only way he can spin this situation after embarrassing the brand, college, and country. It could have been worse. At least this didn’t happen in North Korea.