Who Left The Internet More Broken: Nicki Minaj Or Kim Kardashian?

When Paper Magazine announced in 2014 that Kim Kardashian was going to “Break the Internet,” worried users assumed she was going to sit on it and crush it with her centaur ass. This obviously wasn’t the case, and instead we were treated to ass and tit shots that did peak the Internet’s interest – more out of pure medical fascination than anything. Now three years later Paper is crowning Nicki Minaj as the next breaker of the Internet, and on their new cover, they feature three Minajes for the price of one. It’s a… Minaj á trois. This is why they get paid the big bucks. 

If lightning did strike twice I would hope it would be on Kim Kardashian, but I’m not going to hate too hard on this new fame ho stunt of trying to rekindle the magic of “Break the Internet.” Minaj is at least talented and does a great job of punctuating songs about murdering bitches with her rapping about murdering bitches. Minaj is downright demure on the Paper cover compared to her normal evening wear on a Tuesday, and really only gives up her tits sans nips and some side ass. Paper teased Kardashian’s cover with strictly an ass shot before rolling out her frontal, so who knows what’s in store for Minaj. If she actually fucks herself then, um yeah, they earn those ten dollars. Here’s what Drew Elliott from Paper has to say about leaving the Interned battered and broken:

Break the Internet is all about the big idea, the word, the image. It came to me one day that ‘Minaj à trois’ had never been done. HOW? We have seen different versions of Nicki, from high fashion to seductive to in-your-face and eye-catching all at the same time. But we had never seen all of these together — and now we have the chance, thanks to our cover shoot with the rap star and Ellen von Unwerth. Welcome to Break the Internet.

Some fancy words there for softcore porn.

Head here to see the full cover.

^{Photo Credit: Nicki Minaj / Instagram}