You know it’s going to be a good day when Britney Spears’ handlers sprinkle out a trail of Zoloft to lure her in front of the cameras to sing live. The inexplicably still up and running Spears sports the hottest Kohl’s prom dress a girl could get in 2002 while belting out Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling in Love in celebration of her thirty-sixth birthday. She goes for Christina Aguilera-worthy vocal runs but ends up sounding like a squeaky toy begging for death, and it’s all perfect. The best part of this early Christmas present is the elaborate camera work, AKA someone shakily walking around Spears with an iPhone, giving the whole masterpiece a little The Night Before Blair Witch flair.
The singer credits a Madonna Instagram post as her inspiration for not lip-syncing and elaborates on the rare occasion in an emotional caption. I’m always inspired by Madonna’s Instagram posts too. Inspired to get tested:
I was really inspired yesterday by @madonna’s post. She’s right… silence = death! These words really stuck with me, because they are so true. I’ve always wanted to do a performance like this… singing in a pretty little black dress, with a simple 360, one take shot! I figured since it was my birthday, why not go for it?! So boom. When the clock struck 12:00, I did it!!! Thank you all for the beautiful birthday wishes, and for letting me do what I love. I appreciate you more than you will ever know!!!!
I went through Madonna’s Instagram pics looking for the source of this major fuck you to Elvis Presley, but had to jump ship because there were pictures of Madonna’s face and I don’t get paid enough to deal with that on a Monday. All I want for Christmas is a bangable drugged-up former pop star wheezing Elvis lyrics in a foyer fit for a Real Housewife of Tampa. Owe ya Jesus.
Photo Credit: Britney Spears / Instagram