If watching The Crown has taught us anything it’s that Matt Smith is as ugly as damn sin and that the success of the Royal Family hinges on their image as the standard of class, elegance, and timelessness. And since nothing is classier or more elegant or more timeless than a D-list actress best known for her role on a USA Network original series, Brits were thrilled about Prince Harry’s decision to marry old actress Meghan Markle. Now they’re even more thrilled that Markle wore a see-through slut Kohl’s prom gown for the official engagement portraits released on Twitter by Kensington Palace. That last one was sarcasm. Actually so was the thing before that. Markle is garbage.
When I first read that Brits were pissed about these official portraits, I assumed it was because they looked like they were taken at an Olan Mills in a half-abandoned mall in Ohio and cost a grand total of twenty-five dollars. While that is definitely still the case, people are actually upset that Markle’s see-through dress isn’t royal enough, especially when compared to the dress worn by Kate Middleton for her 2010 official engagement pic. Middleton is beautiful and classy and deserves an elegant dress. Markle looks like Minnie Driver and is basically playing out the plot of Pretty Woman in real life. Ugly mesh whore dress for you, Markle.
Photo Credit: Kensington Palace / Twitter