Jeana Keough Plastic Surgery Reality Show For Bleakest Corner Of Internet

I’m realizing that this picture of Grizabella from Cats applies to a good percentage of the people we see here on WWTDD. I’m sure someday I’ll realize that it’s because it reminded me of myself all along, but until then, it’s going to be our segue into talking about truly the most tragic thing on the Internet right now, former Real Housewife of Orange County, Jeana Keough. The sixty-two-year-old real estate agent sensation left Housewives in 2009, which gave her almost nine years to plot out her next career move. Thanks to something called PeopleTV – People Magazine’s foray into original streaming content – that move has come in the form of Keough’s very own reality series: Jeana Keough: A Real Housewife Goes Under the Knife. And the show is just as inspiring life-affirming as you would think.

In the series, Keough is a single gal on the prowl with one problem: Her face is fucked. Keough gained weight during menopause, then supposedly lost the weight, resulting in excess skin around her face and neck. What is a girl to do. Hmm. Bang up her face even more for a reality series? Like you had to ask. Keough yucked it up before having her face sliced and diced:

“I want to look 15 years younger because I like guys that are 15 years younger,” she jokingly says of  to go under the knife.

If that isn’t the most tragic thing you’ve encountered in the past year, you must be Katy Perry’s career. Keough continues:

I was nervous. I was worried about the downtime. I didn’t want to look like bloody, swollen Tales From the Crypt for a week. I don’t know how [my friends will] feel about it, but I think I look great. And that’s all the really matters.

But you literally just said that you’re going under the knife to please men fifteen-years-younger than you. Those young nubile forty-seven-year-olds. Keough looked like a normal woman before the surgery. Now she looks like she’s been officially assimilated into the ex-Real Housewives Borg. Her identifying characteristics will continue to dissipate as she increasingly frequents the plastic surgeon’s office in attempts to erase her desperation and loneliness. But they’ll be there forever. The difference now being that everyone can see them right on her face. Once you hop on this slide, the only way to go is down.    

^{Photo Credit: Twitter, People}