Social Media Famous ‘Rooftopper’ Dies in Fall (Expected Headline)

Think of “Rooftoppers” as superheroes that don’t help other people. If you’ve ever typed in “crazy motherfucker stunt on top of high rise” into YouTube, you may have seen Chinese “rooftopper” Wu Yongning do some incredibly dangerous, unharnessed tricks atop skyscrapers in the Orient. He and his ilk get tons of views from people in cubicles taking their sweet time processing your insurance claims. 

It’s hard to know exactly how to feel when a guy who makes a living with death-defying stunt dies. Viscera splatter is inherently part of the gamble. You don’t suffer minor contusions when you plummet from floors in the high double digits. Yet everybody comes together to act collective shocked when drops occur. Like watching football players receive concussions and spinal cord injuries. Put on your best aghast face like it’s the first time each time. 

This kid didn’t seem as intentionally annoying as the wing suit guy who flapped his gums before flying into the side of the alps. Though Yongning died after finger tip pull-ups, falling but 45-feet onto a protruding terrace, denying himself the fully spectacular 62-story drop. No solider wants to go out from sorely untreated clap. 

Yongning’s girlfriend alerted the world to his death. She notes the two were set to be married but two days after his final skyscraper stunt video. Imagine her parents have mixed feelings about the sudden end to that romance. Nice kid, but nobody wants their daughter to marry a guy who jumps across building tops who isn’t union. No death bennies. 

People will say Wu Yongying died doing what he loved. Which is a misnomer, because it’s unlikely he loved hurtling toward the cement at 9.8 m/s².