Jessica Alba Is the Future of Attractive Women

The story of Jessica Alba does not bode well for seeing famous attractive women naked or nearly naked all over social media and magazines in the future. So, a tragic tale.

Alba’s career was headed in very much the right direction when everybody, including herself, quickly became aware that she was super attractive but not particularly skilled as an actress. The femme fatale and simply hot chick in bikini jobs were lined up, alongside the occasional sub-standard comic book heroine in skintight bodysuit. Then the new economy ruined everything.

Alba got selected to be the celebrity face and lead partner in The Honest Company, a Westside mommy organic diaper and kid products online retailer than may or may not be making their free-trade, chemical free products in a rusted out, unsupervised industrial plant in Bhopal. It seems to be almost entirely a sham. One currently making massivw dollars for Alba and the others as rich moms order nonstop to make sure their babies are as finely swaddled as Alba’s.

After checking her 1040 a few years back, Alba ditched all her low cut tops and thongs and traded them in for modest relatable mom dress. Suddenly, there was more money for hot chicks by catering entirely to a female audience rather than in the guys who used to read Maxim and Loaded. 

Alba found herself a useless handsome guy with a Yale pedigree to start brooding multiple kids. She recently had her third. There will be more. They all have names that begin with an “H”. If you’re a Kardashian pulling that nonsense, it’s insipid. If you’re Alba, it’s a People magazine spread on kitschy adorable.

We know Gwyneth Paltrow has led in this same female-only audience online market space. Reese Witherspoon and numerous other top female celebrities are doing the same. Shlock promoted lifestyle retail in the stead of deep cut tops and titty shows. This is what female empowerment looks like, and it’s not pretty. Not as pretty as it used to be.

_{Photo credit: Shape magazine}

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