Remember Gollum? What He Looks Like Now Will Shock You

January 13, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson | Comments

Sassy and near-death starlet Tara Reid jetted off the Tulum Mexico looking more like Gollum than ever, and made sure to flaunt every part of her melting candle body in multiple hot bikinis. If you like old house cats with bellies that seem completely detached from their bodies, or if you saw E.T. and thought “I’d love to know what his child would look like if he had sex with a sea monkey” then today is your day. Because Reid is all these things and more. The complete package. I’ve been following Reid’s gradual transformation from alive woman to corpse since way back in July of 2017, and I think I can safely that this look is her deadest yet.

The worst thing about being an alleged bulimic whore and looking like this is that in many cases the combination of speed, coke, and eating disorders can make people look hot. Why just look at a 2000’s Kate Moss. But time is a fickle friend, and so is a plastic surgeon that you find on Groupon, and neither has been particularly kind to Reid. Even the firecracker editorial team at Backgrid, the same people who have the guts to call Laura Dern not a dried apple doll, had these two gems to say about Reid in their blurbs:

The very thin and frail Sharknado star laughs it up with a girlfriend while hanging out at a bar on the beach.

And:

Tara is looking uncomfortably skinny as she continues to enjoy her New Year holiday.

As always, I’ll leave you with the comforting notion that Reid is at least living out the rest of her years without shame or reservation. Her motto of “If you don’t got it, flaunt it” is ironically the same as the herd of progressive Dove water buffalo spin-offs like feminist icon Ashley Graham. Different means to the same tragic stomach-churning end.

Photo Credit: Backgrid

Tags: tara reid