Lindsay Lohan has reached a level of insanity that’s about as much to make fun of as a schizophrenia crack head pissing himself in the street – so, a tiny bit if you’re being honest with yourself – but for the most part she comes across as a mental patient, and seems to have zero confidants not to mention medical professionals in her life who care about her well-being in earnest. Wendy Williams recently played therapist to Lohan only to syphon out headline-worthy details about Lohan’s erratic behavior, and while hopefully Williams’ satanic presence was sniffed out by any onlookers with braincells, W Magazine’s approach to exploiting Lohan before sending her back to get brainwashed by Sheikhs or whatever the hell she does in Dubai is more subtle. On one hand, interviewing Lohan like a normal person is commendable, even charitable, but on the other hand, it’s like convincing a one-armed kid to cross the monkey bars only to distribute the evidence of his fall for clicks. And then leave him there crumpled on the floor. Or in Lohan’s case, getting sexually assaulted by Sheikhs in Dubai. I think that’s what you when you’re in Dubai but I’m not sure.
Lohan on the importance of astrology:
I mean, I’m a Cancer, so I like to go out and then go back into my shell. I don’t bitch about just sitting home and having friends over all the time. Now I have more appreciation for the time where I don’t feel compelled to run around and do everything.
On female activism in a Dubai, a city where making eye contact with a man means getting raped:
It’s a very big place for female activists. Women have a very strong community. It’s a whole different world, which is really cool. It’s a place you think women don’t have as much of a right to be themselves, but they actually have more than you’d imagine.
On saying things that only people who have just taken a mountain of Adderall say:
I love lipstick, but I love using lipstick as blush!
On being self-aware about her career and fashion sensibility:
‘I did my leggings line, but I think I was filming [too much], and I didn’t have the focus,’ she said. As for this upcoming [leggings] line, ‘it’s closer to haute couture.’
On how the paparazzi have changed:
It’s [called] an iPhone. We didn’t have Instagram… It would have been a lot calmer for me. When you think about it, paparazzi are not as crazy as they used to be when I used to be in New York. Now I can just [take a picture] before I walk out the door and then there is no story. It’s good, but it’s a little in-genuine. But don’t you think it’s going to go away? It used to be, the less you are seen, the better. But that’s impossible. What, are you never going to leave home?
On talking about the Academy Awards like she’s reciting a cut monolog from Sunset Boulevard:
I don’t want to go just to go. I want to go because I have accomplished something great, and I just want to be there for the film. I don’t want any personal thoughts, or, I don’t want to come there with a statement of some kind. I just want to come there and say, ‘I’ve been aspiring to come here on the stage like all the Hollywood greats that I’ve looked up to my whole life—the Elizabeth Taylors, the Marlene Dietrichs, the Anne Baxters—and I’m here. Thank you.’ I just want to say thank you.
Now that you’re clinically depressed, here’s Lohan, not ready for her close-up.
Photo Credit: W Magazine