You know that point in an actress’ career when she starts to hype her own nude scenes, even though previously she deflected conversations about sexuality because she was young and fresh and didn’t need the extra attention? You know, when she used to be able to just trip on stage to be endeared to the hearts of Americans, but now has to hawk her boobs like an off-brand Elmo flipping a “tits 4 less” sign on a street corner in a Toledo suburb? Oh God, Jennifer Lawrence is right behind me isn’t she. Awkward.
Just this past October Jennifer Lawrence stated that a nude audition she once endured was “degrading and humiliating,” but while recently pimping her upcoming movie Red Sparrow to Entertainment Tonight, Lawrence tried to get peens wet by describing a not dissimilar scenario in a very different tone. She basically writes a script for CMNF (“clothed male, nude female” for those of you who still have a shot at getting into Heaven) porn with:
There’s one particular scene in the movie where your nightmare comes true from grade school, where you’re standing naked in front of a classroom full of people. So that became a reality, but it actually wasn’t that bad.
Everybody made me feel so comfortable that I probably at a certain point started making everybody else uncomfortable. Because I’d be like, ‘I don’t want the robe. I’m hot. I’m eating.’ Everybody’s like, ‘She needs to cover up.’
She’s still got it. Nothing’s quirkier and more relatable than wanting to eat nude in front of an entire production team, and I’m just surprised Lawrence didn’t tack on: “The mayonnaise from my sandwich dribbled onto my perky nipples. I tried to lick it off, but instead it just dripped down into my wanting vagina.” Lawrence is only twenty-seven-years-old, so I can only imagine what she’ll be up to in ten years. A Crackle original series. Or, ya know, porn.
Photo Credit: Vogue / Vanity Fair / Splash News / Backgrid USA / Pacific Coast News