If you read those four names in the headline, produced a massive wet burp, and didn’t click on this post for fear of full-blown blowing chunks, congrats, you passed another test. Media outlets have been lactating all over themselves following the news that a drug addict and a bitch are planning to have a four-week marriage together during which they will see each other two times. Saturday Night Live castmate Pete Davidson popped the question to Ariane Grande with an almost $100,000 engagement ring, and since he fits the bill for the inaugural husband for a hot famous chick (strung out, unstable, and ugly as sin) she said “Sure whatever.”
Now other celebs are trying to get a piece of the Davidson / Grande engagement pie, including Nick Cannon. He’s apparently BFFs with Pete Davidson, and recently opened up about encouraging his pal to propose to Ariana by equating their love to his failed union with Mariah Carey:
He called before he was going to do it, and I said, ‘Salud!’ He was really excited, so I was like, ‘I love it, man. Keep it going.’ Love is in the air!
To see them together… and I’ve been one of those dudes with one of those fantasy, fantastic relationships where you just go off and get married, so I was like, ‘Do it.’ I’ve congratulated Pete. I haven’t spoken to Ariana, but I’m happy for them.
I think they’re outstanding. They’re young people in love and you can’t knock that. It’s like The Notebook. I’m up for all weddings. I’ll officiate. I don’t know how long they’ll last if you let me do it, but I’m up for it.
For what it’s worth, “Fantasy” is a song by Mariah Carey. And “fantastic” describes the massive “Mariah” tattoo on Cannon’s back that he converted into an even more massive cross after they split. Basically he’s the love guru that we all need in our lives. The moral is… that if you take relationship advice from Nick Cannon, you deserve to date an American-hating whore? IDK. Congrats to the barf-inducing couple.
Photo Credit: Ariana Grande and Mariah Carey‘s sexiest photos from Instagram / Splash News / Ebony