First off, I truly, truly hate Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Truly. This might not seem like a revelation, but I used to actually come to her defense when people said she was just a dumbass heir who doesn’t do anything. Conrad Hilton is a dumbass heir who doesn’t do anything. Kardashian has contracted possibly countless STDs and painfully surgically altered her body into that of a majestic centaur for fame. She shows up to meetings. She hawks FDA-laughed at appetite suppressant lollipops on Instagram. She helps Madame Kris Jenner whore out Kylie and Kendall Jenner. It’s not much. But it’s not nothing. In terms of Kanye West – I never had strong feelings either way. I applaud him for breaking into the music industry as a gay rapper.
But recently the Pinky and the Brain duo tapped into the nucleus of our reality television-obsessed culture by co-opting politics and civil rights issues for the sake of their brand. They really do want to take over the world. And they sadly are by turning all reality into a storyline. The hotly-anticipated episode of Kardashian’s life titled “The One Where A Slut Meets The President” that aired on May 30th scored record ratings and was met with much critical fanfare. In that episode, Kardashian met with Donald Trump to discuss prison reform. The B storyline is that Kardashian helped pardon a woman who was serving a life sentence for drug possession.
— Mic (@mic) June 6, 2018
So grateful to @realDonaldTrump, Jared Kushner & to everyone who has showed compassion & contributed countless hours to this important moment for Ms. Alice Marie Johnson. Her commutation is inspirational & gives hope to so many others who are also deserving of a second chance.
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) June 6, 2018
How I do cheat meals the right way https://t.co/9EA2kD3hDS
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) June 7, 2018
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) June 11, 2018
At the same time her husband Kanye West was fresh off of the polarizing (pun intended) episode titled “The One Where A Gay Rapper Has A Twitter Meltdown” of his spinoff series. West got lips flapping and eyeballs watching by declaring his allegiance to the president as well as stating that slavery was a choice. Whether you liked the episode or not didn’t matter, because it soon became evident that he was using it to fuel sales of his album Ye, which is currently at number one on the Billboard 200.
The disconcerting insincerity of Kardashian and West is more obvious than ever now that they have each addressed their new respective battles. Yesterday Kardashian announced that she met with the CEO of Twitter and is personally championing that the social media platform adopt an “edit” option. In the wake of rewriting the history of slavery for his impressionable followers, West has decided to go after the movie Deadpool for using music that sounds similar to his.
I had a very good convo with @jack this weekend at Kanye’s bday and I think he really heard me out on the edit button.
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) June 13, 2018
I love both Deadpool movies… I heard tracks in it that sound similar to mine… bro I would have cleared my music for Deadpool …
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) June 12, 2018
You can’t make this stuff up. By effortlessly jumping back and forth between genuinely important issues and topics as trivial as the Deadpool soundtrack, Kim and Kanye are conflating the two extremes. Threat of nuclear warfare with North Korea suddenly has about as much weight as an episode of Keeping Up With The Prostitutes in which Kylie contemplates the future of her Lip Kit empire. Makeup lines. Prison reform. Twitter. Slavery. Tits. Politics. Sex tapes. International relations. “What’s the big fucking difference?” – future generations.
Photo Credit: Twitter / Mr. Skin / Instagram